HOW TO STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ;

We all have thoughts. Some are positive and some are negative. But what bothers us the most are the negative and obsessive thoughts which eventually affects our well being. Here are few ways to stop negative thinking :

1. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
Most of our stress comes from either past (guilt/embarrassment/stress) or future (anxiety/stress). Being mindful means being aware of the present state of the body and environment.
How to practice mindfulness?
Start with mindful eating :
i) Take a piece of chocolate/biscuit and feel its texture slowly before eating it.
ii)Then take it in your mouth and wait for the food to mix with saliva and slowly chew it. It will taste better than usual.
(Note : avoid distractions like watching TV while eating)

Now that you know what mindfulness is, start practicing it by being alert about the present and if your mind wanders do not bring it back. Let it wander and tell yourself I am aware of what I am thinking.

Mindfulness is not :
•Emptying the mind of thoughts or feelings.
•Ignoring thoughts, feelings, or experiences.
•Forcing yourself to relax or feel a certain way.
•Mindfulness is about recognizing and accepting what you feel, whether good or bad.


2. ASKING FOR PROOF
Whenever you have a negative thought ask for proof. For example, your friend does not pick your call and you start thinking "she is ignoring me", "probably she has new friends now". These are your opinion and not facts. Stop there and ask for proof. What proof does not picking up the call give you to think she is ignoring you?
State the possibilities : She might be busy, She might have kept her phone on charging and there are endless possibilities. Do not tell yourself a negative statement unless you got proof.

3. WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS
One day my father scolded me a bit and whole day my mind kept telling me that "he hates me" and "he is does not care for me". I wrote them angrily and kept the page aside. Next day when my mood was better I read those statements and that made no sense to me. That fight was a phase and it does not proof anyone's love or hatred.
So write your thoughts whenever you have negative thoughts and later read them if they still make sense.

4. DISTRACT YOURSELF FROM TRIGGERING ENVIRONMENT
You can change yourself and not others. So if anyone's wordings or actions elicited negative thoughts in your mind, best option is changing your environment and distracting yourself.

5. IDENTIFY THE TRIGGER
We all have negative thoughts but mostly we are unaware of the thing that triggered us. The trigger can be anything. A trigger is always related to our subconscious insecurity or a trauma. Identify your trigger by digging deeper into what hurt you/triggered you.

6. DO NOT OVERGENERALIZE
Overgeneralizing means when you face a general situation and you give your extra negative views about it. For example : you walk in a room and you see people laughing. You starting thinking they're laughing on you (which might not be the case). You extend the thought tell yourself "maybe I look fat today" which ends up ruining your mood.
So you see, without any reason your own thoughts ruined your mood.

7. BALANCE AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS
Our typical way of responding to a sudden wave on negative feeling is to act on instinct:
Feel angry → lash out
Feel anxious → hide
Feel sad → have a beer
An alternative is to use sudden, strong emotion as a cue or reminder to “hit the pause button” instead. Then, once you’ve briefly paused, ask yourself: What’s going on here? Aka, manage the situation with curiosity rather than your instincts.

8. AVOID LABELLING AND FORTUNE TELLING
We often label ourselves. For example : If you made a mistake at work, you might say "I am so stupid". That labelling is wrong. Instead, say "Its just one mistake I can correct it".
Fortune telling is when we predict something bad will happen without any evidence.
So you see, we require evidence for everything. Make your mind your court and your thoughts your lawyer!