WORDS ARE NOTHING BUT EVERYTHING

Hi there! Whoever is reading this, I hope your day goes well and you get what you deserve. And by the way, you're cute :).
How did you feel by reading that? If it slightly uplifted your mood then keep reading. In today's time, when the world is getting materialistic day by day, we often forget that how our words influence others or even ourselves for that matter. How we can avoid an argument by replacing 'you're the problem!' with 'can you please be calm and think again if your actions were correct or not?'. How we can save a relationship by replacing 'I'm sorry, it just happened' with 'what can I do now to make it up to you?'. How a parent can motivate their child by replacing 'have you seen your cousin's grades?' with 'I am proud of you but you need to work harder'.

I have heard people saying ruthless words and covering them up with excuses like 'I was angry' and 'I dont know why I said that' You never know how the other person is affected by your words which you may have forgotten after few minutes. You can change your outlook on life by what you speak. Here are the few major reasons why our words matter :


1. It affects self-esteem which can lead to major life changes.
Our words affect the listener's self-esteem. I had a friend who seemed really happy and positive all the time. Suddenly, he got depressed and stopped meeting people. When I met him after few months he shared a very strange thing with me. He met a stranger online who told him 'If I was in your body, I'd have killed myself '. I was shook. Who wouldn't feel a total heart ache after listening this? A stranger who probably have forgotten what he said made this guy fall into the pit of self loathing. But we have normalized this, haven't we? Commenting on other person's body like we're perfect?


2. You can control your mind.
You read it right. Our mind listens to us every time we speak something. People who feel happier in general have a habit of positive self talk. Few people wake up and thank god for everything they have. Few just say 'I am happy and this is gonna be a good day'. It makes all the difference.
I'll tell you my personal experience. Since elementary school I hated mathematics subject. I was always scared of solving problems because even before trying I'd tell myself it's tough and I can't do it. After many years I realised it is not the subject, its me. First thing I did was I said it is not a tough subject and I can definitely do it. I started without any fear and without any hurdle I did it!
Even the people who over thinks a lot. They think about the event which has happened in the past or probably wont ever happen and keep making scenarios in their heads which leads them in having anxiety or low mood. How to stop it? When your mind is over thinking about any triggering situation just speak up (even shout this in your mind) : 'STOP'. Tell yourself 'I am over thinking' , 'I am being anxious' and 'I need to stay in the present'. This will command your mind and you will come back to the present.


3. Words are the heartbeat of every relationship.
Do you know why do people think of pick up lines when approaching a person they find attractive? That is because we all know that words impress people but after they are impressed we forgot that words can disappoint people too.
Most of the breakups happen because of misunderstandings. As sometimes, we speak just to reply and not to understand our partner. As we all know, once said can not be unsaid. We should always be careful with our words. How an 'I' missing from an 'I love you' can make us feel incomplete.
That is why we say communication is the key to every relationship. Many people stop saying things like 'I love you' or even complementing their partners after a while being in the relationship. But its understood, right? That is why they are still together?
True. But as I said earlier, words matter. Start sending those paragraphs again you used to send to your partner in the initial days of the relationship. What makes the relationship boring after a while is that you stop saying the things you used to say. It makes them feel unwanted and unimportant.


4. Words have healing power.
How do you think psychologists help clients with therapy? How can someone be treated from depression or any other mental disorder just by talking? This is because talking is therapeutic. What can a person possibly say to a depressed person to make them feel better? Well, you do not have to think like a psychologist but you can change the way you speak to people and that might prevent them from visiting a psychologist. Making a small difference in our lives can make a lot of people feel better. Try complementing a stranger or wishing your parents good morning or telling your best friend that they matter.
Not only them, it will make you feel better about yourself too.




How to have control on our words?

You might be thinking how can we control what we say? When we are frustrated or angry we tend to say things we actually do not mean. We might feel guilty afterwards but by the time we realise that, the damage has probably been done. So how do we restrict ourselves by uttering the words we probably think about in an anger outburst?
Here are few techniques that might help :

• When you are aware that by talking when you're angry the unnecessary damage will be done, avoid talking to that person at that moment. Give yourself time. Wait till you're calm and then explain yourself in better words.
• Before speaking, ask yourself 'Do I actually mean it?' 'Is this something that is better than staying silent? 'Is this something that will help us reaching the solution?' If NO, then please stay silent.
• Choose your battles wisely. Peace is more important than being right. When we are aware that my point of view will not be considered and it is useless to speak up. Then say silent and save that rage for another argument where you will be valued.
• If you are having repetitive thoughts and having uncontrollable rage. You feel like talking to that person but you are also aware it will lead to a heated argument then just do one thing, write everything you feel on a piece of paper or text everything on a number that doesnt work. It does help!