Life of a person with mental illness

Mental illness is something that is stigmatized since forever. A mentally ill human is often percieved as crazy, dangerous, harmful , useless etc. They go through a hard time explaining even their loved ones about their issues and believe it or not most of them do prefer sharing it with minimal amount of people.

Now living with a disorder is something that requires extra effort to live a normal life. It affects both, the physical and emotional health.

1. Family plays the core part.

The illness is the outcome of many causes. One of them and most important cause is Family. In most of the cases the illness is inherited or environmental factors during the child's upbringing. The child even learns to imitate the parents. In most cases, parents never believe that they can be the cause of their child's traits or disorder or they could go wrong anywhere. Parents often blame the child for faking the emotional burden or mental illness. They target it is 'lack of interest in studies' 'boyfriend/girlfriend issues'. At a point of time the child stops sharing his/her problems because the child might feel the non acceptance of the illness in home. And when his/her own family makes him/her feel abandoned or sorry for feeling the way it feels, child fears to share this with anyone else for a long periods.
This may develop low self esteem, fear of abandonment from outsiders and lack of acceptance from almost everyone.

2. SCHOOL
How many times have you heard there is a class on coping skills, causes and consequences of most common mental illness in teenagers. Schools, the second most important thing in a child's life (also called second home) plays an important role in child's mental health. The children are never taught the effects of 'how they treat their peers'. They are never told the consequences of their words.
School is a place where Kid-A would be punished for slapping Kid-B but Kid-C would not be punished for cursing, abusing, body shaming or using harsh words to Kid-D. And sadly, teachers themselves use some words which is rational to them but traumatic to a 6 year old kid.
Here, taking an example :
A kid spilled food on the table, instead of teaching the kid manners the teacher said 'have not your mother taught you anything?'.
Now, teacher said it generally and left.
But the kid's mother is an alcoholic and he feels neglected. This can make him feel more depressed.
Or teachers using phrases like 'you won't do anything in life' , it can make the child develop distorted perceptions of life and career.
 

3. Friends
Friends play a very important part too in a child's life.
What can not be told to family, what can not be learned from school, is always learned from friends and shared with friends. Our company in young years, our friends can help us either make our mental health better or make it worse.
In todays selfish world we hardly find a true friend.
A friend that loves you selflessly and for who you are.
In most cases friends are the one who develop a core schema in child's brain. In simpler words, a negative thing that becomes even stronger when a friend says it. For example : Body shaming and labelising their own friends. It may be normal to them but it can be harsh on their mate.
In many cases, friends also do not understand their friend's mental illness. And they often take it lightly and say the most common reply - '' Its all in your mind. ''
The neglecting behavior of friends and family makes the person keep their illness to themselves.

4. Love
Now comes the Love part. Love is a beautiful feeling and it is believed to cure any emotional pain. But what is the meaning of Love to us?
When a child has been feeling a sense of abandonment from his/her Family and most of their friends. S/he strives for acceptance from an outsider or maybe someone who admits they actually like him/her. The person have craved acceptance so it does satisfy her/himself with the sense of love that has been provided.
The person is now totally dependent on their lover. There is no self worth and self dependency. There is only acceptance. The person starts looking forward to her/his lover to guide them in everything. They start seeking approval. Little do they know what they have been expecting from them is something you should do for yourself.
The worst part of this is, yeah. The breakup.
Most of them can not handle it. I mean of course, break ups are not expected to be handled normally but what these people experience is a bit different from what mentally healthy people do.
They lose sense of self worth. They feel they are no more acceptable. They start doubting their appearance and existence. Anyway they survive through this phase too.

There are some points that you should consider and know when you are in a relationship with someone who has a mental disorder. I would share them in a separate blog.

5. Conflicts with self
Well, a person can deal with any human but what about having conflict with self?
When you are having a sudden urge to add a scar on the plain side of your wrist but your inner voice shouts do not hurt yourself.
When your lover leaves you and you can not handle yourself but your inner self says 'he did not deserve you'.
Who to believe? And what are these urges?

The only person who can destroy you or who can make you a better person is YOU.
The day you decide you do not want to live like this anymore, your life changes.
A strong mind is NOT an overnight task.
A strong mind is build after the years of helplessness, feeling the worst and on the verge of death but still holding onto that one reason to live. Helping yourself and realizing that, be it family , school , friends or lover. No one would help you if you are not willing to help yourself.
Expect 95% help from your own self and 5% from web and other humans.

Yes, mentally ill humans have to put extra efforts to live a normal life. They live their worst days and they do get through it. But yes what I think is, they possess many qualities that a normal individual achieves later in life.
Coping with every kind of sorrow.
Dealing with negative people.
The hardest : handling themselves on their own.

• What ever I have written is what I believe and what I have seen throughout my life experience. Nothing personal with anyone and nothing is universal fact.
I send you positive vibes through screen. :))♡♡